Image by Ani-Bee  Featured Image by Ani-Bee, Title: Good, clean love

I care more than I do and say,

Because I will to love you better…today I pray✹
Help me, Jesus, to see through your eyes,
Not to seek my own and criticize.
There’s a battle waging in my soul.
Holy Spirit, I give you love’s control.

I’m hurt. I can’t. I won’t. I’m tired!
Those thoughts…those feelings carry my soul adrift.
They beckon my love to retire
In the steams of self-pity and selfish “bliss”.

There my will finds no rest
With this will to love,
Beating deep in my chest

I, me, my, mine
Holds my love for you at bay.
I can’t love you well when my focus is plainly
How much in my favor will  this love thing play?

So today, I choose you.
I empathetically step into your shoes
Considering you better than myself
Then our love is detoxified,
Purified, optimized past the infatuation of self

This is NOT to say that I disqualify my wants and needs
This IS to say that I choose to repent of my love-sick greed

I, me, my, mine…
Those weren’t the words of the Divine
Who bore shame, pain, and so much more
Who had all at His fingertips,
Yet for you&me, chose to become poor

So, even as I write&pray
The answer to my petition has been received
My gaze diverts from me,
As I behold the one who cleanses me of greed

In my mind’s eye I look to His selfless, nail-pierced hands.
Which then beckons me to turn my eyes to you
will to love, because I’ve been so loved
By a Man whose life bled:

Love is what I DO!

Then setting my gaze on Him again
I ask, “Teach me how!”

He shows me a towel around His waste
Before His disciples I then saw Him bow

He knelt to wash their feet
As they looked on curiously from above

I imagine you, my _________, doing the same,

Curious as I wash you with my purer love

I m e m y m i n e
Has been washed by a Dove

As I now step through the barrier of self

“I will to love” transforms… “I WILL LOVE.”

Yesterday was V-Day! Amid all the commercializing of one four letter word, I have been wrestling. Wrestling with the reality that my love is not as clean as I would like it to be. As I wrestled, I was brought to my knees where Abba helped me to excavated my heart and find some hidden things buried deep down in my soul. This poem, “I Will to Love” was birthed from what I found!

I know now how to show my “Valentine” I love him…today, tomorrow, till death do us part!

What’s more, the same goes for those who I encounter as I journey through this life: my family, colleagues, friends, students, and even strangers. It’s by gazing at Love Himself that I’m changed, that Holy Spirit, likened to a gentle Dove purifies my love of selfishness…if I choose to be so cleansed. Choosing to yield to such purification, I will to love changes to I will LOVE…too. “Too”, because He first loved me through…blood.

I’m still on this journey of sanctification. No, I haven’t arrived! Ask my husband! But that’s no excuse for not continuing to stay/abide in Love Himself who will finish the good work He began in me…and through me! To love is to live JoyfullyAlive in Him!

I can’t end this without sharing a link to much greater words than those I wrote above: Please follow the link to John 13. (Valentine’s Day is named after a man supposed to have been a martyr in the name of love. I know of a Man who came before who inspires my love each day, not just on V-Day. 🙂 He spoke the words of John 15. He is the voice of Love; He is Love Himself! And it is by abiding in His love that Will to Love transforms to I…WILL…LOVE! (John 15)  

Now, I wonder. How has His love transformed you?

Image by Ani-Bee

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Marissa Written by:

I am a passionate Jesus disciple, wife, mother, teacher, friend who's life mission is to "Reveal Christ to the lost, spur on the saints, and serve as a beckon of freedom through the edifying images I paint." My pen is my paintbrush, and words are my artistry. I plan to use them both to inspire us to live JoyfullyAlive, because WE WERE MADE TO THRIVE! "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full." ~ Jesus (John 15:11)


  1. Avatar
    February 15, 2015

    What a beautiful poem!!! YES! To gaze at perfect love as His! It is so humbling and liberating at the same time. Why do even attempt to love Him in our own strength. When it is clear that He is the perfection of our love.

    • Avatar
      February 16, 2015

      Yes, friend. There is none greater, none purer than His. This IS humbling indeed.

      Also, yes, as we abide in His love, His helps us to produce a life that is increasingly fruitful and abundant in love. This IS liberating. I don’t have to strive for this. I just need to Abide in His…great love…for me. By doing so, I am changed. The natural product of abiding in the One True Vine is fruit…His fruit of love.

      • Avatar
        Glenn Vellekamp
        March 28, 2015

        Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so. After that, well, I’m not sure.

        • Avatar
          March 28, 2015

          Yes, PGlenn! We can be sure of His love! That makes the world of difference in my life, in my marriage, in my parenting, on the job, and even when no one is looking. I can’t say it’s easy. It is down right difficult at times, but since He keeps His love “on” for me, I’m free to do the same, so help me God.:) He always helps us when we ask! He’s just that good.

          I’ve witnessed first hand your love for others. I’m thankful for your examples in the past. I’m thankful that I was able to do life with you and Mrs. Valerie and see firsthand how you love extravagantly. You’re not perfect, but bygolly, you and Mrs. Valerie have not payed lip service to love on various occasions in my observations. That is the way of Jesus. Keep at it!

          So when you say that the One thing you are sure of is Jesus’ love, Ha! I agree! His is the one we can be sure of! You ARE so loved, and I’m incredibly thankful for you and your compassionate wife! You two have been quite the loving team in my life. Miss you both!